This post originally ran a month ago in a private Facebook group about physicians living intentionally. The group’s admin was a fellow participant in my summer coaching program and had invited me to write a guest piece for the group.
Like any good VHS tape (how old am I?) or Blu-ray disc, this post has been modified from its original version and formatted to fit this screen…err, I mean edited for content. Explicit content. Wait, there’s no explicit content. Sorry.
You read my blog because you are already inclined towards or are trying to learn more about coaching, mindfulness, and intentionality. I would venture to guess that there’s a wide range of familiarity with and experience practicing coaching, mindfulness, and intentionality. I myself am a relative newcomer to the practice of these concepts.
Since I am likely at least one step ahead, I wanted to share the most important thing I have learned so far: be patient and gracious with yourself with this work, especially if you’re starting out.
Youth is Wasted on the Young
I spent 30-some-odd years not conditioning my mind. In fact, I was doing the opposite—succumbing to my simple biology where my brain offered the thoughts that expended the least amount of energy and kept me at my status quo. It’s like Thor in Avengers: End Game (doing his best “The Dude” Lebowski impersonation):
I don’t expect to adeptly and rapidly undo three decades of ingrained, comfort zone neural pathways. Neither should you. And that’s okay. Not just okay, perfect. You are where you need to be. Accept that fact and you’re off to a good start!
Hurry Up and Take Your Time
Mindset work cannot be rushed. It doesn’t work that way; you’ll only shortchange and fluster yourself. I do consider it “work” because you have to be intentional and put in time and effort. Mindset work is incremental and, more importantly, iterative — it builds on itself through the repetition.
Sometimes that incremental nature can get lost in the celebration of those “aha!” moments of our self-discoveries. After my first epiphany, I thought I had arrived and figured it all out. Probably my brain trying to tell me, “so glad you tried something new (not!), now get back here where it’s safe!” Stupid biology.
Unlike this example of my brain’s automatic well-honed responses, exploration of mindfulness and intentionality is not an on/off switch. It’s a process. I liken it to a wind-up toy (mostly because I was staring at one when I wrote this).
Wind It Up!
You input work by winding and winding and winding the toy. Then, when you let go you get the desired result. A child only cares about the result—the toy car that speeds off, or, in my toddler’s case, the penguin that waddles (albeit far less than the amount of winding required would suggest it should!). My toddler does not care about the winding. In fact, he often outsources it….
Treat Yourself!
And like the resistant force against which you wind, your brain will constantly try to revert to its automated biologic default. You will learn to manually override it, but only if you treat yourself with the utmost compassion. Your brain is like Leslie Knope below, and watching Parks and Rec is treating yourself (forcing an analogy, anyone?).
So, take it slow, be patient. Be kind to yourself. Forgive your brain. It’s only trying to do its job the best way it knows how.
Fortunately, you’re here, and you know better.
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