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The Space Between: Part 2 – Creating the Space

I started this blog and the first post in this series with the following quote from Viktor Frankl:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Frankl’s quote captures the foundational tenet of mindset work: we can choose our thoughts, and in doing so we have the power to accomplish anything.

Part 1 of the series focused on the brain’s role in stimuli and responses. Part 2 (this post) will explore “the space” and how to create it. Finally, Part 3 will examine how to exploit that space to achieve our greatest results.

On to Part 2…

Creating the Space

Last week in Part 1 we talked about how the primitive brain has evolved automatic responses to stimuli to try be efficient and conserve energy and keep us in our status quo. These automatic responses don’t allow for the space to which Frankl referred in his quote. 

It's Not You, It's Me—I Need Some Space

It is our neocortex, specifically our prefrontal cortex, that allows us to put a little distance between a stimulus and our response. We attribute executive function, or the set of skills including organization, attention, planning, emotional and impulse control, and working memory, to the prefrontal cortex.

But we have to actively employ the neocortex in the process. Thus, it takes intention to create the space necessary to choose our response. 

So how do you interrupt the primitive brain response?

R-E-F-L-E-C-T. Find Out What It Means To Me

You self-reflect. You examine your thoughts and beliefs (ingrained thoughts) (collectively, these form the basis of our responses) about stimuli and question why you think them. It is this examination of thinking that is “the space.” Self-reflection engages your neocortex on that thought and lets you decide if it in fact is serving you.

Who Does Number Two Work For!?

If the thought does serve you, then you can keep it and high-five your primitive brain. If it does not, then you can work on replacing it with a purposeful thought that does serve you. The goal is to think thoughts that work for you—that generate the responses that shape how you want to experience life.

So where do you start?

First, you identify where you need to create space. In what areas of your life do you seek change or different results?

After identifying a subject you want to tackle, I recommend doing a thought download. A thought download is what it sounds like: you write down every thought about your chosen topic as rapidly as you can without any filtering or editing. It may look like an E.E. Cummings poem gone awry, and that’s okay.

Sound overly simplistic? It should. It’s simple stuff. Seriously. But that doesn’t make it easy.

A personal example may shed some light. 

F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

The idea of developing a website and publishing blog content initially horrified me. My immediate, reactionary thoughts were almost all exclusively negative and steeped in fear. 

They included:

  • I don’t have anything valuable to contribute online
  • I don’t want to put myself out there
  • Who am I to put something out there?
  • It’s going to be too hard
  • What if one of my patients finds this?
  • Will my friends think I’ve sold out in some way?

Where did these thoughts come from? Why did they make me feel scared? What was the goal of these thoughts—what results would they create?

Again With You?

Bless my primitive brain’s heart. It was only trying to keep me snug and safe. Trying to keep me from venturing too far or standing out from the herd where a nasty predator could pick me off.

The issue is I’m not facing a nasty predator. Instead my brain is my biggest barrier in moving forward and getting the results I want. So, thanks, but no thanks primitive brain. I can only succeed if I embrace the discomfort involved with change, and for that I need the higher functioning thinking only my neocortex can provide!

Go Go Gadget Neocortex!

In order to put my neocortex in control, I have to reflect on each of these thoughts, understand from where they are coming, accept that I think them without shame, and construct thoughts that help move me forward with this entrepreneurial endeavor. More to come on the last point of this transition in the final post of this series.

Hold Ye Horses!

I would be remiss not to take a moment (a pause, anyone?) here to say unequivocally that the goal of this thought work is not to promote a prescribed set of thoughts or force anyone into certain beliefs. That would be called a cult. And despite my inclinations to wear red robes and chant creepy things, that would not be cool.

Instead the goal is to notice the negative and unhelpful thoughts and understand that they create your emotions (just like your positive/helpful thoughts). Ask yourself how these thoughts make you feel. Chances are not good.

Again, you are allowed to and should notice these thoughts. But you don’t have to believe them. You are not required to feel the emotions they elicit.

This is the space.

From here anything is possible. Truly.

The Next Time On...

I hope the example above demonstrated that only through reflection can you create the pause you need to check your primitive brain and activate your neocortex. It is from this pause—this small distance, Frankl’s “space”—that we are able to do the powerful thought work necessary for transformation.

The 3rd and final post in this series will continue with the example as I dive into what comes next: using Frankl’s space to create the results you want in life. Stay tuned!

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