In last week’s post, I shared my most original limiting belief, and I’ve previously discussed limiting beliefs here (under quote #3). To recap briefly, limiting beliefs are ingrained patterns of thoughts that drive the narratives we construct about ourselves.
In this post, I give you concrete steps to take to dismantle limiting beliefs, as this is how we can get unstuck and grow into our full potential. This post will look different from the others, you’ll see below.
Embedded in this post is a free worksheet you can download to help you systematically identify and break down limiting beliefs. I encourage you to save it to your device and print off a copy to fill out as I detail the steps below. Enjoy!
The Dismantling Limiting Beliefs Worksheet
The above screenshot previews what’s in store for you. Click here for the PLMD – Dismantling Limiting Beliefs Worksheet. (You can also click the screenshot).
Step 1: Choose a Topic on Which to Dismantle Limiting Beliefs
Side note: it was really hard to list out steps and not send you to a link of an SNL original song by The Lonely Island performed by Justin Timberlake in 2009. I’ll leave it at that.
When you decide to delve into thought work and specifically work on beliefs that may be holding you back, the first step is to narrow your focus to a specific topic.
This could be general like money, work, or relationships, or it could be more specific like a specific person, etc.
Step 2: Do a Thought Download
Next take 5-10 minutes writing every thought that comes to mind regarding the topic selected.
One sentence after the other. No editing or censoring. It should seem like a stream of consciousness. Don’t stop negative thoughts; write them down too.
Learning how to do a thought download is a skill and you will improve with time. It can be challenging the first few times.
Also don’t be surprised at how many negative thoughts come out. Your brain is filled with these and it’s completely normal.
They typically speed on through without you even noticing or paying heed to them.
Step 3: Pick a Negative, Protective, or Overtly Limiting Thought
Select one of the thoughts you’ve jotted down that fits the criteria mentioned in the heading.
If that thought generates more thoughts, then pause in this process and write those down similarly to how you did in Step 2. You can then select one of those newer thoughts, especially if it’s more specific.
Step 4: Show Yourself Utter Compassion For This Thought
I’ve said it many times, and I’ll say it again: thought work requires self-compassion.
You need to allow yourself space to explore with curiosity that is devoid of judgment and self-deprecation. This is especially true as the negative thoughts uncovered will often cause feelings like doubt, shame, guilt, and embarrassment (because our thoughts cause our feelings).
This is creating the space, examining how you respond to stimuli.
It is easy to start to beat yourself up for thinking those thoughts. But you’re essentially beating yourself up for being human and living the human experience with the flawed brains we’ve evolved.
You are trying to undo likely decades of ingrained thought patterns and beliefs. Oh, and swimming upstream against your innate biology. That’s a big ask of yourself—so be kind to yourself.
Remember that nothing is wrong with you. You are already worthy as is. You are already whole. You are exactly where you were meant to be. It’s perfect.
I know so.
You are doing something difficult, and you will feel uncomfortable, but it’s worth it!
Step 5: What Would Your Life Look Like Without This Thought?
Now imagine where you would be if you did not have this thought.
What would be different? Is this thought holding you back? If so, in what way?
This exercise helps you understand the connection between your thoughts on a subject and the results you currently are creating from those thoughts.
Step 6: Thank Your Brain For Trying to Protect You
This may sound hokey, but it’s a good way to practice gratitude and self-compassion. As I’ve discussed before in my very first post, your primitive brain is always trying to protect you.
In modern society, we lack the threats toward which our brains are accustomed to channeling fear to help us avoid. Instead, fear is directed towards anything that takes us out of our comfort zones.
But I promise, your brain is coming from a good place in trying to keep you safe the only way it knows how. Just like Liam Neeson in pretty much any movie he’s made in the last decade.
So thank your brain for its service, even if misdirected.
I’m actually not a fan of The Big Bang Theory, and that’s two GIFs already in one post….
Step 7: Tell Yourself That This Thought Is Not Serving You
The purpose of your thoughts is to serve you in some way. When you unravel a limiting belief, you will learn how it fails at serving you. In fact, it’s hindering you.
It’s creating your results and driving how you show up in the world in some way that is problematic.
And it’s optional. Yes. O-P-T-I-O-N-A-L. Let that sink in.
Allow yourself to let the thought go. Or you could be more aggressive, like this lady:
Step 8: Give Yourself Permission to Choose a New Thought
Finally, from your place of compassion, allow yourself to choose another thought that will better serve you. A thought that will drive a positive feeling that will lead to the actions resulting in an outcome you desire.
As I’ve said before, from here anything is possible. Truly.
I hope you found this post to be a helpful guide to tackling your limiting beliefs. Moreover, I hope you use the steps outlined to do this important thought work. Let me know how the process works out for you in the comments section below.
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